Julie, I have a confession to make. While I was installing firefox for you, I set my blog as your homepage. It was pretty cheeky I admit.
Month: January 2010
Run with Scissors
Training is tough. But it’s even tougher when everyone you ask to become your running buddy says no.
Phone Gestures
I see you crazy lady. I know what you’re up to. Chatting away on the phone, but still waving your arms around like a windmill.
That person on the other end of the line? They can’t see you.
Brown Bread
Brown bread.
It’s sturdy. It’s dense. It’s awful good for you.
The recipe has been in my family for generations, but growing up, I couldn’t bare to eat it. I love it now though, I eat it whenever I can. It’s best just out of the oven, when it’s cooled down enough to eat, but warm enough to melt butter. Cut it open, and eat the firm but chewy slices…
Still though, on the outside it’s as tough as a brick. God help anyone who tries to burgle this house on baking day.
The Nail Fairy
Certain species of fairy require high levels of calcium in their diets. They typically dine on human teeth, and are particularly fond of baby teeth, which are shed painlessly by growing children.
However, in the depths of winter, these creatures often have to supplement their diet with finger-nail clippings too, and these are much harder to find. Occasionally a fairy will resort to eating finger-nails still attached to the hand.
If the fairies in your area are brought to such acts of desperation, you may be able to keep them at bay by putting a little milk in a saucer on the window sill. If this fails to satisfy their hunger pangs and the midnight attacks continue, you may have to call an exterminator.
Cute Zombie
So, yesterday, I was just wandering around, nibbling a nice juicy brain, when I saw this skirt in the window of a store, and I just thought, “Yellow! That’s just the thing! It’ll really go with my putrid gray skin!” Hot, right?
Red and Yellow
“Yellow and black, friend of Jack;
Red and yellow, killed a fellow.”
An old rhyme to help identify poisonous snakes. Funny that it should spring to mind as he first set eyes on his blind date for the evening. She was quite a looker, but he found himself hoping that she’d been de-fanged.
Infinity
The snake eats its tail, and eternity spins around forever. But nothing is ever that simple, so there are probably a few knots along the way.
Chocolate Sauce
“So, you have no idea what happened to the last piece of chocolate cake?”
“Daaaad! I already told you, I didn’t eat it!”
“I never said you ate it. Just wondering if you’d seen it.”
“It’s not fair! Why do you always assume it’s me?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I guess that’s not chocolate icing on your nose then, eh.”
“Icing on my…?”
Uh oh.
